Is It Just Me?

Lately I've been feeling very overwhelmed. I don't know if there have been too many extra activities, work is started to continually doubt my own feelings. I compare myself to other people (never a good idea) and say, "If they can do it, why can't I?" I think, "maybe there is something wrong with me". For so long, I have been crippled by fear.
Afraid of change (good or bad), afraid of the unknown, afraid of what people will think. My group video last night spoke about trusting yourself, and trusting God. If something doesn't feel right, it's not! My feelings are valid, more stressful than normal, or my priorities have changed.. But the other day I 'snapped'. I felt like I was failing at everything, and the things that I felt were most important weren't being accomplished. I needed change, and I couldn't take it anymore. It took me a while to get to this point, because I and I should not ignore them. I don't want to live in fear! Fear is the absence of faith, and I want to live faithfully.

Today I read a post that 'my' Pastor  recently wrote, where he talks about 'Becoming More'. His words were encouraging and helped me process through some of these feelings. He reminded me that "God works in and through us even when our lives feel paralyzed and futile. To become more doesn’t require “perfect” expressions of ourselves, it simply implies that we become more available and willing expressions of ourselves." Noticing & acknowledging my feelings of imbalance are a good step. Turning them over to God and being open to His will is an even better step. Sometimes I get caught up in the goal, and forget about the eventful journey to get there. When I look back at any road trips with my family growing up, I remember more about the conversations, games, stories, and laughter in the car rides than the actual destination. I want to enjoy the ride! 

I find a sense of peace & calm in the knowing that "No matter who we are, or what we are going through, we can know and experience Christ’s power at work in us." I don't know about you, but that makes me feel so empowered! I don't have to be a super hero, I just have to be me.

Pastor Brian noted "In this moment, yield your life expectations and circumstances to God. In faith, ask God for open doors of missional opportunity and allow the Holy Spirit to do the unthinkable in your life. Your life will be a source of hope to others as you become more today!" People are watching, thinking, and learning. Something that may have little significance to me may have large significance to someone else. Stop looking at the past or worrying about the future. Be present in this moment and feel the difference. I will try to be more aware and intentional. I don't have to move mountains, but the mountains will move.

Your Presence Is Presents Enough..

Reflecting on yesterday, the 29th Anniversary of my birth, I wanna talk about Presents.. BUT not for meeee, that's a-WHOLE-notha topic!!! A pair of my good friends from church got married this last weekend. I was so excited to be able celebrate with them!! I got to participate in all sorts of wedding festivities, and it was SOOOOO AWESOME!!! My husband and I attended the Engagement Party.. I went to the Bridal Shower-which got me invited to the surprise Bachelorette Party the following week.. AND, thanks to my Mom being in town, we were able to stay at the Lodge where the reception was held-allowing us to party all night long, wake up to the sound of birds chirping (instead of a baby crying), and enjoy the 'send-off' brunch with the newlyweds & family the next morning. All this celebration allowed me to do one of my FAVORITE things! As I mentioned last week, (I feel) one of my areas of strength is Gift Giving:

The Blushing Bridal Shower

A dear friend and I decided to pool our money together and give a joint present for the shower. The invite said the following (the names have been changed to protect the innocent):

*Bride* and *Groom* will soon be married,

Over the threshold she'll be carried,

But before they settle into wedded bliss,

A honeymoon trip they will not miss,

As friends and family of the two,

Here is what you're invited to do,

Shower them with gifts for the trip, need suggestions?

Here's a tip; They will be traveling on their own

in Mexico, so maybe Lingerie, cash, or a card for the phone! 

Whatever you decide, we know will be perfect!

We decided to do a Mexico Gift Basket. But how to figure out what to put in it? Hmmm.. You guessed it! Of course I Googled "What to give someone who is traveling to mexico". A VERY successful search!!! First site that popped up: Top Ten Gift Ideas for Someone Traveling to Mexico - Yahoo!Voices

(Am I alone in seeing the irony of my Google search returning a Yahoo! link as the first option?)

P1. A map of Mexico(Free at AAA)  P2. Organic and biodegradable Sunscreen 

3. Rain of God, by Victor Villaseñor 4. A passport case in a bright color 

5. A Virgen of Guadaloupe Tshirt 6. A digital camera  P7. OFF Bug Spray 

8. An extra suitcase  P9. A guidebook for Mexico(Free at AAA)  

P10. A journal and a set of colored pens or pencils 

PPlus, we made an 'ATM' with the remaining CASH!

(Of course I forgot to take a picture AFTER I added #2 & #7!)

Go For a Bride With Me.. Wine Not?

Based on work and family, I didn't think I would be able to make it to the Bachelorette Party. But, Hunnie told me he would take care of the kids, I should have a good time with the girls, and 'made' me go. So thankful he did.. I had a BLAST! It had been quite a while since I have done ANYTHING like that. I enjoyed playing along with all the shenanigans the maide of honour had planned, and drinking my red wine through a straw! And, of course, I didn't come empty-handed. If you do a quick search on Pinterest for Bachelorette Party Survival Kit, you will find PLENTY of ideas. I looked thru a few and compiled this list. Quick trip to the local dollar store after work and VOILA!

(Yes, I forgot to include the shout wipes.. BUT one of the girls pointed out that the bucket could ALSO be used for 'nausea aftermath'!)

Set the Lovin to High:

The wedding was set in the country, nestled in the woods. The venue was rustic & nature-filled, decorations delicate & sweet, and cermony special & touching (a butterfly even fluttered through the guests as we witnessed them exchanging vows).. it was so perfectly THIS couple! Their wedding webiste had the following written under the 'Registry' section:

"What our hearts are really after. . . . is a HOME! We are so excited to start living our DREAM of having our own FARM and starting our own FAMILY. We are asking for your support andBLESSING as we prepare ourselves to begin this new chapter in our lives. Please visit our alternative to a traditional registry at http://mydagsite.com 

The couple would humbly prefer to decline gifts of any sort. We have almost everything we need in this world to start building our life together through marriage. We have set up an additonal registry at Target and Macy’s to accommodate tradition."

I wanted to honor their wishes, but also wanted to give them something that was as unique and amazing as they are. The site they included is a place where you can contribute money and 'assign' it to a particular item in their Dream Home. It includes pictures of things they want, and a place where you can create your own. What a COOL idea! I however, like something I can put my hands on! So, I found this Wedding Jar idea, edited some of the wording, and put it inside an over-sized mason jar. Then I wrote a personalized note inside a cookbook, wrapped it in an apron, inserted wooden spoons, and wrapped it all up pretty-with a Neon Ribbon & Lace. I placed it all in a storage box that looks like vintage luggage, and topped it off with a FREE Printable Gift Tag. I must say, *TOOT TOOT* it came together pretty nice!

(No, I didn't take a picture of my awesome Cookbook/Apron wrapping job! Why would I think of that?)

So, I NEVER said I was a PERFECT giver.. I just said (I feel) it is one of my STRENGTHS! More than the gifts, I really enjoyed spending extra time with the Bride & Groom during all the events, and getting to know them, their families, and friends better. Hearing their vows, and what our Pastor had to say about marriage, made me take another look at how I treat my marriage. Do I try to push MY way? Do I put my husband's needs first? Depending on the day, the answer to BOTH of those can change. I want to focus on what marriage is meant to be, and put as much effort & thought into giving to Hunnie as I did on these gifts.